Brother's Day

My older brother Don sent me this message today... it's Brother's Day.
Be the kind of man that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says, "Oh Crap, He's up!"
Brother, life is too short to wake up with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right, and forgive the people who don't treat you right... just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. 
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.
Take a few minutes to think before you act when you're mad. Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it.
Today is Brother's Day, so send this message to all your brothers, father and sons.
If you get seven replies back, you are loved. To the cool men that have touched my life. Here's to you!

A real Brother walks with you when the rest of the world walks ON you.

Happy Brother's Day! I love you, Brother! 

Testosterone-Driven Life

Did you know that the fastest motorcycle in the world goes from 0 to 250 miles an hour in fourteen seconds? You may ask yourself, "Does anyone need to go THAT fast?" Of course not. However, for the purchase price of $250,000... anyone who can afford the motorcycle deserves the opportunity. Don't you think?
     A bigger question is: Have you noticed that there are men that are fascinated with danger and the possibility of self-destruction? The extreme nature appeals to them. Well, there's an explanation. It's part of the testosterone-driven life. I'm talking about the naturally occurring male hormone that promotes good health in men. For instance, testosterone lowers the risk of high blood pressure and heart attacks in men, but conversely, it also contributes to their aggressive side. This explains why some men tend to be attracted to sky diving, bungee jumping, cliff diving... and other high-risk activities like drinking high-proof alcohol and smoking unfiltered cigarettes. It's all a part of being a man now. It's science. Embrace it.

Brilliant Advice

In the iconic motion picture, The Godfather, Don Vito Corleone is a respected, older, wiser patriarch of his family. Granted, it's a ruthless, organized crime family, but you get the point. He's a father who feels responsible for his family, and in his line of work, he doesn't survive unless he's shrewd and insightful. Don Coreleone has some great advice to give. "A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man." Or, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." Brilliant advice. Short and direct.
     Years ago, I was working for a company, but I let it be known that I was itching to leave and start my own company. One day, as I was contemplating my exit strategy, a man stopped me in the hall. He was a wiser, older man who was prone to saying too much. I braced myself. I didn't want to hear it. I was looking for some Don Vito Corleone advice, and I knew I wasn't going to hear it from him. He just sighed and said, "If you're going to do it, do it now. Waiting for later is pointless." Then he walked away. Best advice I ever got. Short and direct. And he wasn't even Sicilian.


    

Living The Strenuous Life

They named the Teddy Bear after him, but this man was no cuddly child's toy. Theodore Roosevelt was a Renaissance Man in every sense of the word. A man of many talents. Of course, he's best known for being the 26th President of the United States, but do people know that he was a war hero and medal of honor winner as a cowboy member of the Roughrider Calvary Unit? This man oozed macho masculinity. Famous for being an outdoorsman, historian, avid reader, author, boxer and explorer. He even studied judo while in office. Yes, you read that correctly. Teddy had a third degree brown belt.
     President Roosevelt often said that he enjoyed, "living the strenuous life" in the natural world. This meant he had a lifelong interest in hiking, horseback riding, swimming, mountain climbing, camping, hunting, rowing and fishing. He believed in adventure and the rugged lifestyle, but he also admired the solitude and healing aspects of nature. He called it "perfect freedom."
     So, is this a riff on the need for exercise? Or, a riff on being a Renaissance Man? Not really... This is a riff on enjoying life outdoors. You see, Teddy had asthma as a child and wasn't allowed to leave the house. In response to his physical weakness, he decided to embrace a strenuous life as an adult. We can learn something from this outdoors-man.

Show Some Respect

Nothing shows a bigger lack of character than showing disrespect. It occurs when someone feels slighted, or disregarded, or under-appreciated. There is no absolute measurement for this, but people recognize when it's happened in public. Generally, if a person feels disrespected, then they were.
     "I'm really sorry I'm late. There is no excuse. Forgive me..."
     "Were you here first? I apologize for jumping ahead of you in line..."
     "I didn't see you. Forgive me for not opening the door for you..."
      Most of the time people will cut you some slack if you just own up to your actions and acknowledge that the result was not what they deserved. However, people have a hard time saying they're sorry, especially when they feel it's not their fault. Or, they somehow think that saying you're sorry is a sign of weakness. This is awfully shortsighted. Respecting someone enough to make an apology shows incredible strength and a healthy ability to evaluate one's own behavior.
     There's an unspoken contract among men. You show respect to others who deserve it, and you do it without any drama. The golden rule is to respect people particularly for their age, their life experience, their accomplishments, and their standing in the community.

Muscle It

Men need to stay in shape. It doesn't matter so much how a man gets there. He just needs to get there. Running, aerobics, weight-training, power walking, yoga, cycling, softball, Nautilus, swimming, basketball, spin class, tennis, kick-boxing, etc. The variety is endless. Whatever works.

     The days of flabby men who don't have enough time to workout are over. There should be no excuses. Think about it. A man can't afford to spend a minimum of ten minutes a day on some sort of fitness routine? Not acceptable. Try this. Before heading to the shower in the morning, do some push-ups, sit-ups and some deep knee-bend squats. Remember, no more than ten minutes. Do this every morning, and the muscle-producing effects will appear in no time at all. Now tell me, is that too hard?

      Kirk Douglas commented that he never took the elevator when he was a younger actor working in Hollywood. To stay in shape, he'd climb a few flights of stairs if he had a meeting in a building. Little things like that make a big difference over time.

     Seriously, the issue is general health. Fitness and it's links to improved longevity and emotional well-being are undeniable. It's the smart move.

The Hand Shake

I met some men at an elevator the other day. It was all very business-like. One man extended his hand. "Hi, Doug. Nice to meet you." I put my hand out and replied, "The pleasure is all mine." We shook hands...
     After experiencing the world's most lackluster handshake ever recorded, it occurred to me that there's a right way and a wrong way to shake hands. Never extend a limp, cold-fish hand. That's the worst. Almost as annoying is the kung fu, hand-of-death grip that some men put into practice. It's trying too hard to impress.
     Here's the proper hand shake etiquette. Always make eye contact with the person you're greeting. That's very important. The handshake should be steady and firm. One pump should do. Then let your hand go.

Meat Lovers

Have you ever noticed how the smell of grilling meat on an outdoor barbecue makes you feel good? Of course, it stirs the appetite, but it's much more than that. It's a feeling of comfort. Something about the aroma of searing meat on a hot grill makes men feel nostalgic for their youth. Remember that Summer camping trip as a boy when you grilled the fish that you caught that same day? Or is it the Angus beef hamburgers you flipped before the Super Bowl party? That mesquite scent wafting in the air is as comfortable as a warm blanket. I have fond memories of hearing Vin Scully's voice announcing the Dodger game on the radio and my Dad grilling T-bone steaks smothered in his special barbecue sauce.
     There's a theory that men like the idea of grilling because it's one of those special moments where men gather around an activity and socialize together. They bond with beer in hand, discussing their lives and interests in a relaxed setting. Women are welcome, but let's face it... It's a guy thing. Men like an activity to surround themselves when they chat about last week's game, the newest car model or the management issues at work.
     Who would have guessed that the Weber would be the important rallying point for male weekend entertainment?

Respect Your Brand

One thing about Brett Favre is obvious – the man can play quarterback. The reason is simple. Brett loves football. You can see the enthusiasm when he plays. He plays like a kid on the playground. Head-butting his linemen when he scores a touchdown. Leaping into the crowd at Lambeau Field.
    His love for the game is part of his brand. Favre is an ironman. The old gunslinger with twenty years in the NFL. 297 consecutive starts at quarterback. Three MVP awards. His stats are legendary. He practically owns every passing record in the league. Unquestionably, Favre is a Green Bay Packer icon and a slam dunk future Hall of Famer.
     However, it's interesting to note that Brett Favre isn't as great at retiring from football. Obviously, he doesn't care about retirement the same way he cares about playing football.
     Favre is officially retired from football now, but in the last three years of his career he was confused. He made formal retirements, then went back on his word and came out of retirement. Vacillating from "calling it quits" to "giving it one more try." He looked scatterbrained. Tentative. Wishy-washy. Pathetic. Even if some of his uncertainty was media created, Favre still suffered from the fallout. He didn't respect his own brand. His retirement indecision was in direct conflict with his image on the football field. Confident leadership in a career and in a life... That's what the fans want.

My Father

This is a photo of my Father in 1951. He's a young man here. I'm reminded when I look at this photo that there was a time when men behaved like men. The last generation of men not spoiled by consumerism or elitism. He was a traditional man who was blue-collar and uncomplicated. His name was Francis, but everybody called him Frank.
     Just another World War II vet who was good, honest and hard-working. My Father never spoke ill of anyone. In fact, he was a quiet man, but when he said something people listened. A jack-of-all-trades, he knew how to do things. His favorite belt was a toolbelt. A typical Saturday, he could be found tuning up the Chrysler, unclogging the sink, repairing the fence, planting a garden or grilling a steak.
     My Father believed that the man you are...is the man your son will become. I hope I haven't disappointed him...

Kick Some Ass

Sometimes a man has got to kick some ass now and then. You read that right. No matter what the prevailing politically-correct belief is regarding the ugliness of violence, fighting is a man thing. Clear and simple. Some say the rational approach is the most responsible way to solve every conflict. But we know that's not the truth. A man has got to kick some ass every once in a while.
     Let's face it. People love to provoke each other. Have you ever had somebody go nose-to-nose to you? Bullies are a force to be reckoned with because they're not just going to peacefully go away. When the time arises, a man has got to be a man now. Think of it this way, when a dude puts his finger in your chest and proceeds to call your mother out as a whore... Well, you'll know what to do!
     Of course, if you're going to kick some ass, you might as well start with a good punching technique. The best way to throw a punch is to keep the punch medium in length and direct in it's aim. Long overblown wind-ups rarely land accurately. They only seem to land that way in the movies. Always swing with the rotation of the shoulders and follow-through for full arm extension after the point of contact.


 

How Are The Men Doing?

You're better than you think. You're better than what society believes. In business, you're better than what your co-workers or your boss believes. You're much better than what the marketers think of you and your influence, that's for certain.
     I am betting on the future of men and their climb to the top again.
     Yes, I said again...
     The statistics are not so good at the moment for the men. They only make up 43% of college undergraduates and master's degree students. 70% of special needs children in school are boys. Girls are taking over the standardized testing in the kindergarten through 12 system.
     According to the hard evidence, there seems to be a current gender discrepancy involving society's perceptions of young men. And what's the cause of this? Studies show that new state and federal testing policies, curriculum changes, school climate and psychological differences are some of the factors.
     Whatever the case, turning this male perception around is going to take some new thinking. A new male model is needed. One that inspires. Men are going to have to be more innovative and smarter in order to compete. Whether it's building a business, growing an organization or selling an idea... men need to be encouraged to do it their own way. With new methods and creativity. There should be a reward for coloring outside the lines. That is the new male model. One where you're better than you think...
    
    

Leader Of The Pack

Ever watch the Tour de France bicycle race on television? The lead pack of cyclists are always tightly bunched together with one cyclist out front. Why do they do this? Because the cyclists that follow the leader have a much easier race. The leader breaks the wind resistance, and the following cyclists can pedal more efficiently. Without this drafting technique, the Tour de France bicyclists would never have those spectacular finishing times. They'd never have enough energy to make it to the end of the race.
     In life, many men follow the same strategy. They follow the leader, and they miss out on an exciting life. You know the type. They stay within the safe shelter of their buddy cliques. They never become leaders in their own lives. A sad example are the men that never break out of the same high school crowd, years after graduation. Staying way back to avoid risk or criticism is not being a man now.
     In fact, it's dangerous to follow the leader at all times. Inevitably life changes, and the buddy clique is threatened. The leader gets married or moves away. Somebody gets a job in another city. Another joins the Army, etc. Suddenly, with no practice leading, the man who stayed with the pack is trapped and in serious trouble. He has no practice in pursuing the unknown.
     The lesson of the Tour de France is worth mentioning again. Staying back in the pack is no guarantee of safety. Better to be the leader of the pack.

Know Your Drink

A guy walks into a bar and makes a complete ass of himself...
     Is this the beginning of a dumb bar joke? Sadly, no. It's just an observation and one all men need to avoid. Every man can do himself a big favor and learn the skill of bar etiquette. Yes, there is such a thing. Believe me, one sure way to get your "man card" revoked in this lifetime is acting like a confused rube when you walk into a bar.
     You've seen the guy before. He stands in front of a bartender, pondering his drink order. Clueless. Unsure. Indecisive. This is totally unacceptable. A man needs to own the transaction when he approaches the bar. Speak to the bartender so he can hear you. Don't speak downwards. Lift your chin, and make eye contact.
     Being a man now is ordering with confidence and saying it quickly. Men need to know their drink. Mention the brand, the amount and the way you like it served. For example: Grey Goose vodka, double, neat... Simplicity at it's best. So, what'll you have?
     

One Of A Kind

In my neighborhood there's a little patch of flowers. It's a sea of white lily-of-the-valley ground cover. You know the flowers. They're the tiny, sweet-smelling, bell-shaped flowers that populate everywhere in  Spring. I look down, and all I see is a carpet of white...with one glaring exception. Popping through is a solitary reckless red rose. A raspberry in a bowl of whipped cream.
     It occurred to me that standing out in the crowd is remarkable. Being one of a kind is special. Men are like that. A big component of being a man is his uniqueness. Hell, this country was founded by men with rugged individualism.
     Back in the 1940's, Major League Baseball was lily white. Then, Jackie Robinson came along and broke the color barrier. He popped through like a red rose.

Hard Work

Men used to work hard. Your great-grandfather knew this with great certainty. He used to work up a sweat pounding steel in the mills. He hauled lumber, picked cotton, worked in machinery or shoveled coal. This was the reality of a manual-labor economy. It was hard work, and it left these men with mangled hands and ruptured spinal columns.

     Looking back, we idolize those men. They were tough men. We respect them for their work ethic and their ability to endure. For those men, working hard meant producing more... and producing more was the best way to put food on the table.

     Those days are over.  Today, almost half of the United States workforce sits at a desk. Replacing the empty Arrowhead bottle on the cooler is now the only heavy-lifting required at most jobs.

     So, are you still working hard?

     What is the new definition for working hard?

     It's not putting in more hours. Everybody puts in long hours and working weekends.

     The answer is working harder mentally. Being innovative at work is the new hard work. Not accepting the status quo. In today's world, standing out and risking failure and rejection is the way to Be A Man Now.